View from a Canal
On being visible as a Jew, books & recommendations, and easy-peasy, Israel-inspired brownies.
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Today marks 150 days that the hostages have been held in Gaza. 150! It’s impossible to wrap one’s head around the devastating inhumanity of it. And it’s hard not to crack beneath the isolating weight of the antisemitism unleashed since October 7, or the global silence when it comes to condemning it. #bringthemhome #bringhershhome
I pray you are managing to stay somewhat balanced and whole, despite the (sur)realities unfolding around us.
First a writing update. Then, I’ve got a story to tell you.
More than ever, writing poetry has been a therapeutic outlet for me, a way to release some of the intense emotions many of us have been feeling lately. So I’m honored to share that my poem, And Still, was recently published on The Jewish Writing Project.
Now, about that story I mentioned.
My husband Miro and I recently returned from a trip to Amsterdam, a three-day stopover on the way to visit family in Croatia. We loved the city. The canals, the houses, the art, and of course, the coffee shops :). I ate herring like a local, too. Downed the thing whole.
In the weeks before we traveled, Miro reserved timed slots at several art museums as well as the Anne Frank House. Meanwhile, I consumed books (see Recommendations & Resources below for more on that) about the Netherlands, including ones that relate
the Dutch experience of the Holocaust. Though it had been decades since I’d read the diaries of Anne Frank and Etty Hillesum, both women were very much on my mind as well.
As we packed, I began to wonder about the current atmosphere in Europe. Would we feel safe? Should I wear a sheitel instead of a wrap to cover my hair? I initially deferred to the sheitel, hoping to go incognito, though as one of my sons pointed out when we sent him a photo of us posed near a canal, “Mom, you look Jewish no matter what you wear on your head.”
The Amsterdam rain fell. My sheitel soon looked like a wet cat, a rather unflattering look. So I switched to a wrap and never had cause to feel uncomfortable in it. Still, I kept my Magen David necklace tucked beneath a scarf.
Our hotel offered a small kosher section at breakfast. We thought that was nice, especially now. I tried not to get buggy about the anti-Israel rally we encountered in the center of the city, but felt unsettled anyway. On the other hand, the kosher restaurant we went to on our first night in town displayed hostage posters on the door. They had not been defaced or torn down.
At the statue of Anne Frank around the corner from the Anne Frank House, tourists of all stripes took selfies. I couldn’t decide if I thought that was appropriate. Yet I stopped myself from asking them, “Knowing what you know about her story, will you talk about today’s antisemitism when you caption that photo on Instagram?” I hoped so.
We later visited Amsterdam’s magnificent Esnoga, the Portuguese Synagogue. It looks almost exactly as it did when it was built in the 1600s. In the shul’s basement, an Israeli artist now living in the city has created an installation of books, one for each hostage still in Gaza. They invite visitors to leave notes or images within their pages, something to await the hostages upon their return. I wrote a note in our hotel room that night. We went back to the shul in the morning.
The volunteer on duty then, also an Israeli based in Amsterdam, used a glue stick to adhere it to a page in Shiri Bibas’ book. When she asked me why I’d chosen Shiri from the 135 hostages, I explained that we have posters of her sons Kfir and Ariel in our front window, that their faces sometimes come to me in dreams. Nodding in understanding, the woman added, “Sadly, I cannot put hostage posters in my window here.”
That night, we dined at the kosher pizza restaurant. Miro said it was the best slice he’d ever eaten (we went there twice because of it). We asked the waitress how it is to be Jewish and Israeli in the city now. She insisted, “We are okay. We don’t let it bother us.” And for the most part, we felt the same during our short stay. But we were only tourists. How could we really know and who were we to say?
My siddur, which is zipped into a pouch with a small metal pull tag, was flagged at the airport on the way home. I watched the guard wipe my hands to check for residue and flip through the pages of both the siddur and my pocket-size Tehillim, likely unaware of their holy value. To be honest, I never complain. I’m grateful for the seriousness of security.
I know, I know. It was the tag that concerned the guy screening the x-ray images of my bag. That’s why he flagged it. I’m certain of it. But I can’t stop myself from wondering if, Maybe not.
Recommendations & Resources
No plans to visit Amsterdam soon? Check out these free virtual tours of The Van Gogh Museum and The Rijksmuseum, home to classic works by Rembrandt, Vermeer, and others. Or take a virtual tour of the Anne Frank House.
There’s still beauty in the world. This breathtaking video of the Great Sandhill Crane Migration proves the point.
My talented friend Bruce has a fabulous Etsy shop with unique Judaic art prints, gift items, and Israeli-themed clothing, from vintage Israeli stamp scarves to Am Yisrael Chai tees. Wear your Jewish pride on your sleeve (literally!). Use code LITERARYFRIEND10 for a 10% discount off your purchase.
Here’s a fun, new-to-me word you can casually drop into conversation during this Gregorian calendar leap year.
This reel by Roy Kornblum beautifully portrays the essence of who we are as a people. It’s spot on and deeply moving.
Lastly, a few book recommendations, all Netherlands-centric — Tracy Chevalier’s The Girl with the Pearl Earring, Emunah Elon’s lyrical House on Endless Waters, and Nina Siegel’s excellent The Diary Keepers. And if you haven’t read them already, the diaries of Anne Frank and Etty Hillesum are a must.
An easy peasy, Israel-inspired brownie recipe
Years ago, when my youngest was about three years old, he had a tonsillectomy. He was disappointed when the surgeon said the unlimited ice cream post-surgery thing is a myth. “You can’t have any. Dairy promotes mucus, which will irritate as you recover.”
To distract my son from both his discomfort and the ice cream prohibition, we watched movies. Mostly Power Rangers videos (as it happens, that series was brought to the US screen by an Israeli producer). At some point, we switched to the Food Network, where chef Giada De Laurentiis was offering up her favorite brownie recipe.
Turns out, she uses Duncan Hines. Then she dresses it up in fancy clothes.
For years now, I’ve made her recipe. But over time, in need of change, I’ve adapted, adding different things to the batter. Lately, that means some of my favorite ingredients from Israel.
Just add 2 tablespoons of espresso powder, 1 teaspoon of coffee hawaj, and a cup of shredded plain or vanilla halva to brownie (boxed or your own recipe) batter. Leave out the hawaj if you don’t like it. Then bake according to the directions. If you want biscotti instead of brownies, place sliced brownie pieces on a baking sheet. Bake for 7 minutes at 350. Let cool.
Dunk in your favorite cup of Israeli coffee.
Thanks for being here. It’s important that we stick together.
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Here’s to a good week. Shavuah Tov!
Love, <3
Merri
I always love and welcome your posts.
On day 150 of the hostages remaining in captivity, your words felt like a soothing balm for my weary soul. Thank you, Merri.