Learning to Count

On Shavuos and on all the blessed days that (G-d willing) follow

If I’ve baked a cheesecake, do I need to cook anything else for the holiday or is that enough?

We will soon eat our cheesecakes as we celebrate the festival of Shavuos, which commemorates the giving of the Torah to the Jewish people thousands of years ago at Mount Sinai. This year, instead of baking my usual recipe, I’ve made Tal Shoham’s favorite Classic Crumb Cheesecake from the #Shavuot_of_Longing cookbook, published by the Hostages and Missing Families Forum. It has been more than eight months of difficult counting, a long, ongoing wait for the remaining 120 hostages to be returned home.

The holiday culminates the period called Sefiras Haomer, the counting of the omer, which begins on the second night of Pesach. And it’s the counting itself that is on my mind at the moment.

Sefiras Haomer is like the fitness app on my phone that keeps track of accruing steps, that encourages me to stay on target, to move, to build stamina and strength. It feels like an exhortation to put in the work — in this case, the spiritual rather than the cardio — so that we’re energized and excited when Moshe descends from the mountain with the tablets.

The process of counting (remembering to do it, getting the day right) beautifully slows down the passage of time by making us pay attention to it. We don’t wake up suddenly and ask, Wow, It’s Shavuos already? We anticipate the holiday, and Matan Torah, the giving of the Torah, because our eyes are watching the road.

There is a powerful connection between words and numbers, between the numeric and the literary, in the Hebrew root ס-פ-ר. It means to count, but also to recount, tell, narrate. It gives us sefer (book), sofer (scribe), sippur (story), and on the other hand, mispar (number) and sefira (counting).

As such, Sefiras Haomer teaches us to track our paces leading up to Shavuos and on all the blessed days that G-d willing follow, to treasure each and every one because together they write the story of our lives in this world. My friend Debbie, who passed away last week, was a master at this. With her signature smile, she showed the rest of us what really mattered and the importance of making every moment count.

G-d, Who could have done anything, decided not to hand us the Torah on the other side of the Yam Suf when we left Egypt. He did not say, “Go! Run across the sea with it! Think of it as your road map.” We weren’t ready. We had to earn it, to prove ourselves.

So time has to pass first, days we tally and bless one by one. Yet I’ve never managed to count all 49 days of the omer, either forgetting or losing count as early as day three. I always show up on Shavuos feeling bad about it. Thanks to a WhatsApp chat that has faithfully sent me a reminder at sundown every evening, I counted all 49 this year, and I cannot convey how grateful I am to have paid full attention.

Sefira is a finite number. There are 613 mitzvos, or commandments, in the Torah. But our sum of years as individuals is both limited and unknown, may we be blessed to live to 120. So how do we make our days count while we are here?

There are so many answers to that question. But I think the ones that really matter are to love with a full heart, to hold our people close, to multiply our kind deeds, to cherish the fact that ours is a living Torah, a gift to carry with us wherever we go.

Also, to notice the good in the world, despite the tsores. To treasure our blessings, not rush past them as the days race by.

A few quick resources

• For more about the Shavuot of Longing cookbook, click here. The story includes information on how to get a copy.

• This collection of recipes from May I Have That Recipe? is another great resource for last-minute Shavuos prep.

• And two Shavuot-themed stories by S.Y. Agnon for some moving holiday reading.

Wishing everyone a beautiful, meaningful Shavuos.

Love,
Merri